Today I have been invited to a school reunion for my old school year in the summer. Although my life looks pretty normal, i.e. married, two children, nice house, good job etc I am still feeling very insecure.
I was always a bit awkward at school. I find it very hard to form relationships and friendships and really only had one real friend at school, whom i am still friends with now. So the thought of having to meet up with people that knew me and having to be social is just horrible to me.
Im sure they are all perfectly pleasent people, but I am drenched with the feeling of being inadequate and ugly, therefor I would not want to be on show to anyone.
The general response to the invite from others is "yes- I would love too" but i do not feel like that so when they confirm a date for it I'm going to have to decline and make up an excuse for that day.
I do feel this is sad because where I would like to be is in a place within myself when I would unbrace a public get together like this and want to meet people. At the moment, I am noway in that place.
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